Cinders 3

Cinders 3

For every one of you

I'm hung up on the word

Inconsolable.

Trying to define it

in terms of the words:

No bounds.

Sometimes God asks me to do things

I cannot do.

But not things that cannot be done.

No bounds.

Because I WAS bound,

but you were not.

All of you were free

and YOU did what God asked of me.

Inconsolable.

I thought things would move on without me.

Resolve.

Improve.

The lies in those beliefs

have no bounds.

I never considered inconsolable.

The ash from my fire saturates the air,

knows no bounds

fills my lungs till I can't breathe,

choking on sobs of

inconsolable apology,

flaming high with a passion for

Living

Loving

In my mind I am bound to:

The words: I will not leave you while you are in the throes of this.

The words: How do you think they would feel at their wedding?

The words: I know the voice of truth is strong in you, but I also know the voice of the deceiver is strong in you too.

The words: Don't you worry about me, Katya.

The words: Because you're what's in front of me.

The words: Well, that is just plain wrong.

The words: No matter what.

The words: I'll tell you what I think, but you might not like it.

The words: Hosea is a love story.

The words: We are always here.

The words: God is not talking about us 
here.

The words: I didn't know who else would be awake, and I knew you'd understand.

The words: I'd never stop crying.

I was inconsolable until:

Your voice on the phone

The rope on my wrist

The head phones

The medallion

The goodbye

The stickers

The swing

Friends

I did not understand what I was really bound to until:

The quotes on my wall

The hug at the shower

The songs via messenger

Your voice on the phone

The dance at the wedding

Your surprise arrival at my door

The depth of the funeral

The wanting to not let go

The soup and bread.

Your forgiveness.

The cross.

His forgiveness.

No bounds.

I will never see the cinders.

My fire will not die out.