Let You Go

Let You Go

If I came here to let you go
I didn't tell myself.
If I had allowed myself to know,
Id have never reached this shelf.
My feet would drag my car protest
And turn to drive away
And if it reached the parking lot
I couldn't make it stay.

A thousand pounds upon each foot
Would keep them planted down
No hands with strength to grab the holds
Up to this this higher ground.

So this secret did I keep
Especially from me
To aid myself in reaching now
A place to set you free.
I cannot bear to hold you close
And carry you in mind
The weight of all I may have lost
To real joy has made me blind.

So high above the world I am
To send you on your way,
To break and heal my shattered heart,
To let go of this pain.

I feel as if I see you there
Calling out to me
But I must turn my back on you
To ever find me free.
I don't want you to be alone
Or lonely or afraid
And I could have changed those things
If only you had stayed.

But you have gone ahead of me
To where I cannot go
And I have stayed to live out life
And finally I know:
There is no you, there's only me
And the gift of waking here
With arms of love around me.
And everyone so dear
Seems now the one thing that I need
To truly find my way
Is no ghost, no wish, no dream, no want
But waking every day.

I hold my heart out to the sky,
And let my tears run free
I know that if you only could
You'd reach your arms to me.
But nothing comes, and as it goes
My self can understand
This is the part I missed before

And I let go your hand.

I'm alone, I feel it now
And I don't want to be
And so my feet now climb back down
To life where he loves me.

And suddenly I'm free.