Cinders

Cinders

For Chris

There was once this crazy moment:

the sun was bright

and you were laughing,

threw back your hair

and reached for me.

I wouldn't say it was a surprise exactly.

The spark was there

but the will was not,

till suddenly

the world was super bright,

utterly clean and new

and full of promise and opportunity.

Do you remember the first time?

I know you do.

The wild mix of danger, and desire

wrapped around each other.

Wanting, unsure, and suddenly

the walls fell down,

you were free and untethered

and open to all new things.

It took my breath away

to know that you too

wanted to be something so much more.

I know you've felt that fear of rejection,

revulsion, anger, and loss.

Willing to only savor it in your mind

than risk turning it dark and painful.

And suddenly,

the light broke over you

and acceptance reigned over all

and you jumped in fearless if still hesitant.

There was once that moment

that redefined my life.

A moment of reckless abandon

and discovery.

Savored for so short a time

before I locked it away in a little box

where it stayed for eons.

And suddenly

the box sprang open

and I came bursting out

thinking fearfully and joyfully and certainly

'I'm going to burn that box to cinders!'