Being Changed

Being Changed

As I woke up I knew

it would never be the same.

That I was truly through

with playing all these games.

Life has been hurting me

for what seems like endless years.

No longer will I permit myself

to suffer full of tears.

In that moment I knew deeply

what freedom really means.

I won’t be in someone's clutches,

i'm chasing all my dreams.

I don't care what anyone thinks

I do what I want now.

I'll live my list of things to do,

it doesn’t matter how.

I'll work no job that I don't like

do nothing that I don't desire.

Even on my quiet days

i'll hold onto this new fire.

I'll keep the friends that respect me

and ditch the ones that don't.

If I don't want to do it

know right now that I won't.

I'm not who I was before

i’ve faced my greatest fears.

I've determined my priorities

through terror, sweat, and tears.

God knows the depth of horror

the wretching price i've paid.

Released, the straps that held me down

now dangle there assuaged.

I've left behind with pleasure

the soaked and twisted sheets.

The convergence site of hated

where misery and iodine meet.

I've died to endless longing

for things far beyond my reach.

From now on I go and get them

exploring every street.

I will love with all my being

live with all my soul.

I will not apologize

for making myself whole.

Antiseptic by the wayside,

it burns my nose no more.

Sun and grass and cinnamon

come wafting in my door.

I don't know what tomorrow brings

but that’s more than okay.

I know what it doesn't bring,

leaving me lush with joy today.