The Breath Before the Silence

The Breath Before the Silence

It’s just two now

alone in the quiet room

where no one will disturb your words.

Your silences.

You needed this time to come.

Hoped for it.

Waited for it.

Dreaded it.

Dim lights and a soft couch.

Nighttimes gentle soothing touch

for words to powerful too say in the day.

Things that must be said.

That cannot wait for another such night

that will never come in time.

You want to start with something else,

something easier,

but time has already run out

and still neither of you can begin it.

Then both at once the words fall with the tears

and the fears and the hopes and the dreams

and the years and everything in between.

and tomorrow

Tomorrow is wrapped in yesterday like a shroud.

It is sorrow enfolded in thick black lace.

Today is the breath after the scream,

and the breath before the silence.

In the breath the words must be spoken.

It is surreal to arrive here.

You hear so acutely trying to save the sound in your head forever,

taste tears you never wanted,

hold tight to a hand and think that if you just never let go

then maybe?

If only you could hold tight to a soul like you do a hand

this night would be unnecessary.

What passes between you spans a lifetime of friendship

and something deeper and nameless.

Something that knows agony in all forms.

Spent,

still trying to put into words things long silences

defined hours, or years, ago,

a bird begins its song and every bit of pain the universe has to hold

rushes in to snatch the dark screen away,

driving harsh light into shredded souls

that knew this day would come.