No.Matter.What.

No.Matter.What.

For Russ

I saw her explode out the door

screaming fury from every pore,

every hair on her head,

every limb of her body.

Frustration driving her to detonate

into unthinkable loathing

unleashed,

unchecked,

uncontained

HATRED.

She is utter destruction itself,

Consumed.

How dare you say those words to me?

You Do.Not.Know.

I saw her draped across the floor

Jesus looking down

on her desperate sobs.

Her inescapable torment,

overflowing sorrow.

The agony of years of anguish.

The weight of years of uncertainty.

The toll of years of unresolved loss.

Unbridled misery pouring out of her,

flowing from her body and mind.

Physically exhausting her

till she sleeps, finally,

there on the altar floor.

How dare you mean what you just said?

You Do.Not.Know.

I saw her holding in her hand

the very ropes she wants to be tied in.

Craving limits, despising choices,

demanding pain to blot out the memories that hold her captive.

Begging to be set free by restraint,

by helplessness,

ravaging submission,

decimated control

and flaming passion.

How dare you promise that to me?

You Do.Not.Know.

I saw her blink back incredulous tears

awash in shock and surprise

after a conversation that should have been filled with shock and surprise

but wasn't, could never be.

Revealing desires touched upon,

nothing at all next to those words,

next to the realization of them,

the certainty with which you said them.

Let loose from a place much deeper

than anything previously spoken

leaving her anger somehow broken.

How dare I reject those words I read?

Even if you Do.Not.Know.

Or Do.You?