Take Me Back

Take Me Back
For Andy who literaly let me in.

Oh i came before You broken
resistant and in pain,
with torn soul and deceived heart
and aching racing brain.

i lay before You screaming
uncertain and distressed
then threw myself against the wall
desperate and repressed.

Flying, falling, racing down,
toward water black as night:
i found myself upon your beach
filled full of awe and fright.

I took that moment, held it close,
used it to sustain
the hardest and the longest years,
but all of that in vain.

For came the days, I know not how,
the darkness crept right in,
enchanted by its beguiling voice
it swept me into sin.

AGAIN i came before You
broken and afraid
my every atom screaming
to reach out and be saved.

i threw myself upon Your feet
and tried to find Your light,
i cried your name and begged release
desperate to concede the fight.

But my heart heard You loud and clear
demanding i Let Go,
to let your Son take on my burden,
to humbly Let It Go.

I hear you and I give it up
into Your loving arms
to take my rest, let go the load
give up on my own harm.

But AGAIN i come before you
in raw uncertain fear
will i just pick it up again
to try to hold it near?

My soul screams out to let it go
my heart cries spears of pain
my mind can only take so much
before unbridled chaos reigns.

You tell me now to leave it
not pick it up again
to leave it lying in His arms
to try and make amends.

I know this is my moment
to turn and walk away
to walk toward His loving hope
and trust his faithful ways.

To leave this burden lying there
and never pick it up,
leave it to the One who for ME
took up the deadly cup.

And as I turn i must look back
i must be truly sure
that He will carry for me
both my sin and her.

I hear no whisper, see no sign,
can do nought but believe,
that He can wash my sins away
and leave me clean and free.

AGAIN i will come before you
on likely endless roads
to ask myself if You really can
shoulder yet one more load.

i'll lay my head upon Your feet,
i'm getting comfortable there
make you no false promises
but just be laissez faire.

In darkest hour and wildest ride
ill pray to hold you close
remember all Your promises
of which love is the most.

i'll come in shame, i know i will,
in brokenness and fear
resistant, hurt, in writhing pain,
and desperate to be near.

AGAIN ill curl up on your feet
with sobs my body wracked
AGAIN ill feel your arms enfold me
and know you TAKE ME BACK.